Wednesday, December 28, 2011

The First Christmas

Time has flown by, and we just spent our very first Christmas in the new house.    Money was tight because of all that was put into the house, but it was a good one.  I have a lot of bad memories from this time of year and I usually hate it.  The Grinch has nothing on me.  This year, I felt the need to get over MY feelings and try to make some good memories for the kids.  I managed to get the tree up the first week of December, and got it decorated.  Of course, it has been un- and re-decorated many times, thanks to Josi!  lol  I even tried my hand at baking some holiday cookies, and hosted Christmas lunch here at the house.  Hopefully the good memories I'm making with the kids will redeem my feelings towards the holiday too.

One thing I noticed while doing decorations is the house is missing an outside outlet.  I didn't get to put up any lights on the outside of the house.  Maybe that will be remedied before next year.  I'm still having mixed feelings about the house...  Some days it feels like home, and some days it just feels like another in a long line of rentals.    Running out of money to make repairs is helping that along.  My uncle repaired a leak in the toilet in the front bathroom, but the floor is still staying wet.  Not sure if there is another leak (in the toilet/floor seal) or if it's from something else (rambunctious bathing?!) but the floor under the tile is black, moldy, and soft.  NOT a good sign.  Just praying none of the kids falls through the rotten floor.

Other than that, out of my list of unfinished things, the only things that effect me daily are the lack of drawers and cabinet doors, and the lack of insulation over my bedroom and no heating in my bathroom.  I still want to do soo much here to make it our own, but seeing as I can't find a job still, they are going to have to wait.  Then I'm torn between putting more money in this place or just letting it go.  At some point the investment is going to be diminishing returns, because no one will want to put out $100,000 on a 60 year old wood frame home, no matter how nice it looks on the inside.

On to a brand new year.  Let's hope it's a good one.  I really need it to be.  The knot in the end of the rope I'm hanging onto is unraveling.  /sigh

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