The First Christmas

Time has flown by, and we just spent our very first Christmas in the new house.    Money was tight because of all that was put into the house, but it was a good one.  I have a lot of bad memories from this time of year and I usually hate it.  The Grinch has nothing on me.  This year, I felt the need to get over MY feelings and try to make some good memories for the kids.  I managed to get the tree up the first week of December, and got it decorated.  Of course, it has been un- and re-decorated many times, thanks to Josi!  lol  I even tried my hand at baking some holiday cookies, and hosted Christmas lunch here at the house.  Hopefully the good memories I'm making with the kids will redeem my feelings towards the holiday too.

One thing I noticed while doing decorations is the house is missing an outside outlet.  I didn't get to put up any lights on the outside of the house.  Maybe that will be remedied before next year.  I'm still having mixed feelings about the house...  Some days it feels like home, and some days it just feels like another in a long line of rentals.    Running out of money to make repairs is helping that along.  My uncle repaired a leak in the toilet in the front bathroom, but the floor is still staying wet.  Not sure if there is another leak (in the toilet/floor seal) or if it's from something else (rambunctious bathing?!) but the floor under the tile is black, moldy, and soft.  NOT a good sign.  Just praying none of the kids falls through the rotten floor.

Other than that, out of my list of unfinished things, the only things that effect me daily are the lack of drawers and cabinet doors, and the lack of insulation over my bedroom and no heating in my bathroom.  I still want to do soo much here to make it our own, but seeing as I can't find a job still, they are going to have to wait.  Then I'm torn between putting more money in this place or just letting it go.  At some point the investment is going to be diminishing returns, because no one will want to put out $100,000 on a 60 year old wood frame home, no matter how nice it looks on the inside.

On to a brand new year.  Let's hope it's a good one.  I really need it to be.  The knot in the end of the rope I'm hanging onto is unraveling.  /sigh

What?! 3 weeks?

(WARNING: this post contains gratuitous and copious amounts of CAPITAL letters for added emphasis)

I just can NOT fathom that I have lived in a home that I OWN for three weeks now.

I must have entered into the twilight zone or found a short cut in the space/time continuum.  It really doesn't feel like it's been that long.  I do have a few pictures I took before the move that I need to add.  I have zero pictures of after the move to add.  I have been doing much better keeping this place clean than I ever did at the old place.  (even after unpacking lots of boxes)  I can't explain the difference.  As much as I would like to contribute it to home ownership and a sense of pride, I think a lot of it boils down to the purging that took place, the additional space, and the fact that this place is brighter and more open than the other.  Sunshine and space realllllyyyy help my mood, and thus help with motivation.  It seems that I have developed a decent mode of attack for the week, but weekends are chaotic with ALL the kids home ALL day long.  So that's why I'm not running around with the camera this morning to update you and show my home off.  LOL  I hope you understand.

My illusion of moving into a finished and completely renovated home died a slow, cruel death as each day and each dollar slipped away.  Some things I have found DON'T bother me unfinished, and some things are grating on my nerves.

Taking a mental tour through the house, some things that are NOT done are:

• Living room - trim still not painted
• Kitchen - half painted with just one coat, no trim painted, no cabinets or drawers, never painted the countertop, never replaced or fixed the floor (missing, loose, and ugly tile)
• Utility Room - Never finished the patch over the water heater, never rehung cabinet or shelves
• My Bathroom - the only room in the house not painted at all, no medicine chest installed
• My Bedroom - trim still not painted, door swing direction not changed
• Spencer's Room - trim still not painted, closet door swing direction not changed, ceiling texture not fixed
• Front Bathroom - trim still not painted, floor still rotting away, tiles still loose and missing
• Girls' Room - trim still not painted

Some things in general that never got done:

• The rotting wood along the sides of the house hasn't been replaced
• The water drainage issue along the carport was never taken care of
• Never got a Termite Bond
• Still no home owner's insurance policy (still not sure anyone will ever cover it)

Some things I'd like to get to sooner or later:

• All the things that never got done - LOL
• Getting a lawn mower
• Demolishing the mosquito breeder dilapidated, unused water feature
• Finishing/repairing the wiring in the shed
• Adding an outside electrical outlet for holiday decorations (in case I ever start to like holidays)
• A new deck or patio out back, close to the house
• Complete and total remodel of the kitchen and both bathrooms
• Replace all the door frames and facings, and all the molding and trim throughout the house.
• New flooring in the whole house
• Vinyl siding
• Metal roof
• Landscaping
• Fill the hole in the driveway and have some cement/concrete poured

If your eyes haven't glazed over and you're still with me, thank you, and be on the lookout for pictures soon. I won't commit to an actual day, but they are on my list!!

L.

Well, I didn't wallow...

Yesterday I managed to get a few things done.  It wasn't nearly enough, but it wasn't a totally wasted day.

• went to bank - I am now officially out of money for this reno/move
• took paperwork to AL Power re: water heater replacement
• Priced and decided on floor for kitchen...  laminate for 0.79/sq. ft.  YES!
• Painted the insides of kitchen cabinets
• Finished cutting in living room so Unc could paint.
• Found a refrigerator... if it's still there Friday, and we can figure out how to get it through the doors, I'm going back for it.
• Met my neighbor K.  She's super nice, and they are renovating too.  

Unc managed to get the living room painted (first coat, gonna need 2 /sadface), fill the hole in the floor where the dishwasher goes, and spackle up some holes/cracks in the kitchen.  Maybe more, but I left before he did.  Had to pick up the baby and keep the older kids from killing each other.  Then I went to Walmart for yet MORE paint and caulk.  bleh.

Still haven't finished packing for the day.  My itinerary today is:

• drop off baby with Memaw
• go start cutting in 2nd coat in living room so Unc can repaint it
• start packing last minute stuff
• take ever growing pile of stuff to donate!
• drop off lock w/ storage people!!  (I forgot... I hope they don't think these 5 days I'm late adds another month!)
• Arrange for moving truck
• disassemble Spencer's bed and Josi's bed so they will fit through the doors (and maybe the other beds too)
• figure out if I want to get another labor estimate for laminate installation or do it myself.
• If I want to do it myself, do I want to go ahead and buy enough for living room? (to be installed later)
• Hope Nick shows up to help us! LOL
• worry/procrastinate/freak out/etc....

Hopefully next time I see/talk to you, I will be done with the majority of moving, and be on to cleaning out the duplex to turn over the keys.  Wish me lots of luck!!

L.

TITLE: because I couldn't think of a better one ~

I just really don't have the words for how I feel right now.

None of my stuff is ready to go.
My house isn't finished.
My duplex isn't packed.

I just want to wallow and cry.

I've been pushing my body and my sanity to the limit, and somehow it just feels like no one else in my life is making this important or a priority like I am.  My children have not been helpful.  I was trying to leave Josi with my grandmother during the mornings, but it was wearing her out.  Then I tried to do stuff at home during the day, and the new house in the evenings after the kids got home.  But I couldn't get out the door before the older kids were arguing.  I don't mean just verbal arguing... I mean knock down drag out physical someone is going to get hurt fighting.  Over stupid stuff.  And when I leave in the afternoon, 2 of the 3 never get their homework done, and their grades were suffering.  I have begged, yelled, spanked, and put on restriction, drug them with me, and still no results.  It's insane.  I feel completely betrayed and resentful.  :(  Then I feel guilty for feeling like that.  *sigh*  I cannot do this all  myself.

I was supposed to move today.  TODAY.  None of the kitchen has been touched.  Neither has my room.  I got more done in 2 hours in the girls room than they did in 2 days.  But I've only been able to do stuff while Josi is asleep.  I've done 7 loads of laundry in the past 2 days.  The living room and kitchen at the new house still haven't been painted.  My kitchen cabinets and drawers are still sitting outside under the shed undone. unstripped.  There's a hole in my kitchen floor that needs to be filled.  There's about 12 tiles completely pulled up and missing from the floor.  The bathroom floors are still rotten and in danger of falling through.  And none of the trim in the house has been painted.  There are only 3 out of 9 windows that have the blinds hung in them.

HVAC is DONE!

Hallelujah!
I have heating and air conditioning!
SO glad to be done with that!

Started cutting in paint around the doors and windows in the living room.

Target date for moving:  Tuesday and Wednesday ~ yes,  that's 4 days left.
Wonder how many days I will last without a refrigerator.
Can I live out of an ice chest?
/headdesk

Talking out loud...

>WHINE ALERT<

I am so overwhelmed with this move and trying to finish the house that I'm paralyzed.  I'm stuck dead in the water thinking about everything that needs to be done.  I can't manage to prioritize, initiate a plan, or let go of the idea in my head that I wanted for the house once I finally moved in.  I've run out of energy and patience, out of money, and out of people to help.  Nick will only be available Friday and Sunday to move stuff, but Unc isn't off until Tuesday and Wednesday. So that leaves me without a moving truck for Nick, and without any HELP moving stuff for Unc.  I've been trying to fix the new house, clean and pack the old house, and I'm doing it with an almost 2 year old under my feet and three older children who won't help unless I turn into something akin to Mommy Dearest and Freddy Krueger mixed together.  I'm so completely over it all.

Even though I've moved at least 10 times, I'm having trouble figuring out what to do next.  I've been trying to go through things and purge as I pack.  This is going nowhere fast.

I have 4 boxes done.
I have a pile of crap stuff to take to donate.

Ridiculous.  /sigh

• I think I need to leave all the stuff on the walls, because it won't be in our way while we move.
• I think I need to start cleaning the junk off the TOP of the furniture, so it can be moved.
• I think I need to get everything up off the floor so it won't be in the way when we move stuff.
• I think I'm going to stick with leaving clothes in drawers, and just take them out of dressers to move.
• I think the clothes in the closet can stay til we are done moving furniture.
• I think I need to empty the pantry so it can be moved.
• I think that means I need to make a meal plan and only leave out ingredients I will be using before the move.
• I think I need to clean the sticky film left over from ugly contact paper out of the cabinets at the new house so my kitchen stuff will have a place to go even if the cabinet doors havent been finished yet.
• I think I need to finish painting the livingroom before I move because I dont want to paint around furniture later
• I think the kitchen being painted at the new house can wait til after the move if it has to because there wont be much in the way.
• I think the kitchen floor needs to be taken care of ASAP so it's ready for the dishwasher and refrigerator.
• I think I need to get off the computer, turn on some jams and GET MOVING!!

Wish me luck!!

Getting the carpets cleaned today ~

A little early, but now most of the traffic is out of there.  I feel like the days are wasting with nothing being done,  and I was trying to be proactive.  Maybe I'll be able to walk across the floors now without wanting to disinfect myself afterwards.

A/C is installed all but the return vents.  Will be doing that tomorrow.

Hoping to get some work at the old place knocked out.  I hate packing.